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My writings ...
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Sometimes when your not looking or not even aware,
A door opens ... you walk through,
Scared, even terrified ... but to your amazement
This situation that has you on the edge,
Is softened by a smile or a gesture,
You later continue on the path,
Determined to face what fate,
has brought you here to accomplish,
Times that you happen upon ... are rough but mostly dark,
You look up and the trial is softened by a smile or a gesture,
During your travel on this road,
Paved with shame, self-doubt, road blocks, pain, tears and sometimes laughter,
You tumble, fall, sink, yet rise again and with each passing time,
This is done in shorter measure ...
Then is softened by a smile or a gesture,
As time passes, this door too shall close,
But another always seems to be opened,
To further us on this journey called Life,
Down a different path ...
We are now stronger than before, but are always
Softened by a smile or a gesture ...
Always remember and never forget,
You and I, my friend, are most definitely survivors,
Pre-destined to succeed ... not fail,
Even though we may at times second guess ourselves,
Which comes from a life of abuse and self-destruction,
We must always be assured that those times will be triumphant,
For us as well as others and softened by our smiles and gestures.
Edye Quinton
June 22, 1998
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People we meet sometimes are not the ones we would have chosen for ourselves,
But it is OK most times as we will never see them again,
We go through day after day and encounter many souls,
Some for a time and some we try to keep forever...
We have our times with our families, duties with our relatives,
Demands on our time...usually not enough hours in the day,
Never thinking we would have to work at keeping relationships intact,
That being a job in it?s self...
We say ?oh, we must keep in touch?, but most times we do not,
We even find ourselves making plans, but often with times and circumstances,
The plans are broken, or set aside, for more pressing duties,
Then we find the closeness we shared with this person, very far away,
Inevitably, we question, if our friendship was that strong as we thought,
Why didn?t it ... survive? We must have been mistaken...
Just the closeness of the time, or the magnitude of the work,
Which imprinted these people in our hearts as friends,
This unfortunately is human nature,
We have to fight the feeling at every turn...
Unless we want to loose what we share,
I believe what we have here and now is worth keeping,
So when I am going through my day, without you there,
I will take the chance you are home and give you a call,
Or sit down take paper to hand and drop you a note,
To enable to make the distance between us smaller and to keep you close,
My friend, I do believe you are worth the effort,
I am worth the effort too...
What we have accomplished here together, never minimize,
What we have yet to share, should be awesome....
Edye Quinton
June 28, 1998
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Another writing ...
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Happy Girl
The door opened, in she walked,
Wide eyed, scared, tissue up to her face,
Not knowing who to trust or where to sit,
Wanting the chair to swallow her whole
Ill at ease she spoke, not sure what to say, why she was even here,
Told the story of her life, painting pretty scenes with her words,
Tears flowing, mind going,
Wanting the chair to swallow her whole.
Times passes, confidence grows, her face not so troubled,
Eyes clear, she smiles the room lights up,
People notice full of energy, can't sit still,
Not wanting the chair to swallow her whole
The road she travels, not always smooth,
Turns hard, she stumbles, falls down,
Should she get up, can she, yes she gets to her feet
Walks straight, tall and kicks the chair
I see her before me now, the chair only a place to sit, a support,
Self assured, comfortable in her own skin,
Her eyes show a little of the person I saw that first day,
But it seems it was only momentary, a glimpse,
She is gone and replaced by this happy girl
Edye Quinton
August, 1998
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In for inspection, they call it assessment,
Will I do or can I do? What they expect of me,
What I expect of myself? Yes, I quickly say,
With all the fear and commitment I could muster,
I would not let them down, nor let myself down,
Days become weeks, weeks become months,
The work I was doing, it was so very difficult,
Am I worth it, I didn't think so, but she did,
You could see it in her eyes,
Tough, which is what I needed, I was used too,
She took no guff, straight shooter, no bull,
She saw it in me the fear/pain/control/tenderness,
She said your not tough, but a marshmallow
Her words hitting their mark, she saw I took it all,
Worked with it and I think, I made her proud,
The work with her in-group was never easy,
Always a challenge, definitely worthwhile,
Diana said "your work is deep, effects most people"
I say, I hate to make people cry, but learned they cried,
Not so much, at my pain, but how it was so like theirs,
When I first met you I knew I liked you,
But didn't know how much I would come to care,
Now that the time has come for us to say good-bye,
I will take the memories of our time together,
And keep them right beside the lessons learned.
Edye Quinton
September 1998
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The words are hard to say, harder to feel,
It grabs you by the throat, chokes you,
You find it hard to breathe, to speak, and to think
How do you make it come out do you want it to,
It hurts too much to say, much less feel,
So you try not to say, push people away,
People who have been foolish enough to have come too close,
Silly people, don't they know you don't know how to do this?
Are incapable of doing this, don't want to do this,
Guess not you know the hardest thing is not living with yourself,
But with looking into their faces, seeing disappointment in their eyes,
With failure, disgust, loathing and PAIN,
Everything I say is wrong, disturbs someone, annoys someone,
They look away, some even take courage and venture towards you
To say how they feel, do I care, yes,
Do I show it, no, do I attack...yes, most times
Have I failed, yes, I think,
I'm so very tired, tired of fighting myself, tired of fighting others,
Leave me alone, let me live with my pain, loneliness
Don't come close or it will hurt you too
Get in touch with your sadness, your pain,
No leave me alone, don't make me go there,
I don't do it well, so I just don't do it.
Edye Quinton
August 25, 1998
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